Rising Above: One Family's Birth Story of Strength and Resilience
We believe birth is safest when the parent is trusted… trusted to know when their baby is doing well, and trusted to know when their baby may need medical tools or interventions.
Unfortunately, the medical model of care does not often view birth or pregnant parents this way. While individuals in the medical field may have good intentions, the system in which parents give birth in the United States is not designed to holistically support families. Birth is frequently treated as an inherently dangerous process that must be managed. Parents are often belittled, with brilliant adults spoken to as if they cannot understand what is happening or make sound decisions for themselves. In this model, parents are seen as needing to be “saved” from their babies. Pregnancy is labeled a high-risk condition, and babies in the womb are treated as liabilities. Monitoring and intervention take priority over trust in the natural process. Once a baby is in a bassinet, the assumption is that all that matters is having a “healthy mom and a healthy baby.”
We believe how you are treated throughout your pregnancy and birth, and how you feel about that treatment, matters deeply. Of course, the health of parents and babies is vital, but so is the experience of welcoming a child into the world. Why settle for health alone when satisfaction and empowerment could also be part of the journey into parenthood?
This is the story of a family who rose above the treatment they received in the medical model of care to achieve the birth experience they envisioned. Their journey reflects resilience, advocacy, and trust in their intuition. While we grieve the mistreatment they endured, we celebrate their strength and determination.
At around 30 weeks, this family hired us for doula support and childbirth education. This was their first baby—a girl—and the pregnancy was labeled high risk due to pre-existing type 2 diabetes, advanced maternal age, and a higher BMI. They hoped for a natural, unmedicated hospital birth. As they shared their preferences with their OB and asked more questions, they were often met with responses like “We’ll see about that,” delivered with varying degrees of ambivalence or aggression.
Determined to educate themselves, they learned about the benefits, risks, and alternatives to various procedures and interventions. They also studied the process of physiological birth and comfort measures for labor, while understanding their human rights and developing advocacy skills. From our first meeting, it was clear the birthing parent trusted her intuition: she felt healthy, her baby was healthy, and she believed in her body’s ability to birth. Frequent monitoring only confirmed her intuition that everything was progressing well.
The doctors, however, repeatedly pushed for induction or elective cesarean, citing risks such as a “big baby,” shoulder dystocia, and stillbirth. The benefits of spontaneous labor or risks of induction were never discussed. At 39 weeks, the office scheduled a surgery block for her—without her consent—and again pressured her to proceed with induction or cesarean. She declined and did not show up for the scheduled time.
This behavior—characterized by negligence, coercion, and lack of informed consent—is unacceptable. Informed consent involves discussing benefits, risks, and alternatives while respecting the patient’s right to decide. These doctors seemed accustomed to unquestioning compliance, focused solely on outcomes rather than empowering their patients. This approach exemplifies why maternal morbidity and mortality rates remain high in the United States.
At 40 weeks, they went to their appointment and again had an ultrasound, a non stress test, and the conversation about induction. During the ultrasounds the OB said, “See? Your baby wants to be induced. She’s flipping you off.” The OB said many horrible things to them and huffed out of the room frustrated that they’d declined induction. Despite this, the family remained resolute. We spoke with them after this appointment, and again just validated their feelings, told them we trusted them, and reminded them of the joy that exists in them soon welcoming their first baby girl. They were beginning to feel ready to meet her, so at 40 weeks and 1 day, they went to the hospital to begin an induction.
Upon arrival, they were met with warmth and compassion by the nursing staff. A few rounds of cytotec and spontaneous rupture of membranes were enough to get labor started. Though the birthing parent initially thought she’d want to move around, lying in bed felt most intuitive. With the support of warm and cold compresses, acupressure, breathing prompts, and a TENS unit, she progressed beautifully. Baby girl also did wonderfully throughout.
When she moved to the shower, spontaneous pushing began. After a cervical check, the nurses confirmed she was 8 cm and told her not to push. Despite being told not to push, she trusted her body and followed its cues. Transitioning back to the bed, her partner remained by her side, offering unwavering support. During a shift change, an OB from the practice—one who had previously pressured them—came on call. The family had discussed the possibility of firing this OB if verbal abuse occurred, but fortunately, the doctor was kind and supportive. Sitting quietly at the end of the bed, the OB waited for baby girl to emerge. She was born without complications—no big baby, no shoulder dystocia—and went straight to skin-to-skin with her mom. Both parents had the opportunity to love and embrace their baby and each other during this first meeting.
This family achieved the beautiful birth they envisioned through hard work, resilience, and determination. They trusted themselves and their baby. While we grieve the mistreatment they experienced, we celebrate their strength and share their story to inspire others. Trust your intuition. No one knows your body or baby better than you, and that knowing matters.
